The Saga of Federal DI

I’m currently exchanging paper work with the  Federal DI office.  I completed three questionnaires about what I do all day.  As I completed the forms I kept thinking, “They’re going to deny me.”  They don’t ask any questions about why I quit work or how my life has improved since I quit.  They want to know what I do all day, and I do the same things everyone does: I get up, eat, go to the gym or walk my dog.  I read and work on my computer writing and researching.  What the questions don’t show, is how my life was while I was working compared to not working.

Most surprising, I find I am not exhausted all the time.  When I was working, I would rise at 5:15 AM, be at work by 7:30 AM.  Then work in an extremely stressful job until 4:00PM.  I’d get home around 5:45PM.  It was all I could do to stay awake at the wheel during the 1.5 hour commute.  Then cook dinner, clean up the kitchen and relax.  I would fall into bed at 8:00PM, leaving my laundry undone, and the kitchen in disarray more times than not.  I had been tired for so long, I didn’t even realize I was exhausted until I started getting enough sleep.  Now I can stay up past 8:00PM.

My medication is not an issue any more.  It still makes me drowsy, but now I can take a nap if I need to.  It still fuzzes up my brain, but I don’t have two lawyers vying for my time, so I can just let it be fuzzy and write.  I also find I have pain less often.

I can think much more clearly now, though I still have trouble with directions, and words continue to elude me, but with the lack of stress I feel I am now living a good life.  If relatively unproductive.  I’m much happier, my family is happier.  I have energy to cook good meals for us everyday instead of when I felt I had to.   Now we’re healthier too.  Now I look healthy too, and I’m thinking the Feds will turn me down.  At least I have another 6 months of State DI to working on changing their mind if they do.

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