Tummy Trouble

It’s either menopause, my MS, or I’m pregnant, but I’ve been nauseous a few times in the last week.  The frustrating thing, is it could be anything.  I may even have a touch of some flu.  I don’t know why it matters what is causing the discomfort and I have meds for it.  I’m just so tired of not knowing what causes which of my symptoms.  I keep thinking once I’m through menopause things will improve.  Well I’ve been waiting for menopause for over 10 years and while my doctor promises me I’m close to the end, year after year my wait is in vain.

I’ve suffered from bouts of nausea for at least ten years, so I’ve always thought it was due to hormonal changes.  I was even on HRTs for a while, but they didn’t do anything to ease my symptoms.  I finally found a gastroenterologist and got meds I have to order from Canada to help with the nausea.  How effed up is that, the drugs my doctor prescribed aren’t available in the US.  The continued threat of the US making buying drugs from other countries illegal haunts me.  What if I can’t get this drug any more?  If I want to take the risk of a drug the US hasn’t yet approved, isn’t that my choice?  I don’t blame people for going to the internet, Canada or Mexico to get their drugs for a better price.  The prices in the US are ridiculous!  One of them costs $3500 for a one month supply.  If I didn’t have insurance I certainly couldn’t afford this drug, which my doctor says is essential to my overall health.

I don’t mean to whine, I know there are plenty of people with more serious health issues, and plenty of serious world issues I could fret about.  Still when it’s your problem it takes over your life no matter how mild.  A couple of years ago the nausea got so bad I lost 20 pounds and kept losing.   I couldn’t eat for days at a time.  I got too thin and looked like I was in chemo therapy.  That’s when I finally went to the gastroenterologist and he prescribed the medication from Canada, which actually gets the drug from Germany.

I’ve spent hours on the internet researching menopause and how to know when it hits, and how to recognize the various symptoms of MS.  Pretty much the same.  Memory problems, hot flashes, night sweats, anxiety, moodiness.  At least a lot of my anxiety and moodiness is gone since I retired.  So many issues caused by stress, which would increase my pain, which would increase my anxiety which would cause my memory to spaz out.  Nausea was the only thing I could medicate away.

Now that I’m retired and well rested, my overall symptoms are much more tolerable.  To any one on the street I seem completely unimpeded.  I even feel I could work, though I couldn’t do the same type of work.  I think of retail sales, which I would hate.  Even a job at Best Buy would require me to learn many new things, a new computer system, what’s in the store and where to find it.  Even if I worked at McDonalds there is a lot to learn about the cash registers and its intimidating to me. I have a terrible time learning new things.  I can just imagine being denied federal disability and told I am capable of going back to work, only to realize the only job I’m capable of holding down is a Walmart Greeter.  Who knows, it may come to that.  Then nausea will be the least of my concern.

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