MY mind is blank. More blank than my usual. Husband keeps asking if I’m OK. What do I tell him? No. Of course I’m not OK, I suddenly have no thoughts in my brain at all. Or Yes, I’m fine, which is what I say. How to explain to someone you have no thoughts. I can sit and watch TV or just as raptly, watch the leaves blow in the breeze. I have no idea really what I’m watching. I’m just blank and empty.
I thought maybe it was because my GP had suggested me tapering off, then stopping Abilify, I thought I was slightly depressed. I had been off it for several days, before starting again. Maybe it hasn’t quite kicked in, or maybe this is one of my new normals: like weak thumbs, and head pain. Maybe I just have to accept that this is a new normal and move on.
Mostly I think I do OK, but I feel disconnected somehow. Maybe this feeling will pass. I’ll be going for accupuncture for my hands next week. Maybe it will loosen my brain and thoughts may stream through. Because right now it feels as if my imagination is dammed up. I thought I took down a chunk of that wall recently, but it turns out not to have been large enough. At least today I’ve got enough oomph to write this. Tomorrow will be better, or the same. No use worrying about it.