I found out yesterday that even if I will in the end receive federal disability benefits, the wait from now til the next hearing date is 400 days out. And there of course is no safety net to carry me more than a year without any income. There’s nothing I can do except go back to work.
It raises a lot of questions. How honest to be with a potential employer? Should I jump right back into full time? Maybe try to just avoid the commute? Maybe I should take a simple, entry level position like receptionist. Can my ego hang with that? Do I change my resume to tone down the accomplishments? Should I just go apply somewhere like the movie theatre or McDonalds? Maybe get hired by the local Molly Maids?
I had hopes that my little online store would be doing better by now, but I suppose I was expecting too much. So far it’s not worth it to me to even pay the sales taxes, I think I owe all of $2.80. I never thought it would pay my mortgage, but I hoped I would see some sign of growth. The reality is I’m not the only one selling jewelry online. There is nearly no advertising, except for advertising on Etsy.com. I need to advertise beyond Etsy but hesitate to put any money into my itty bitty business. I like making the jewelry too, but I’ll run out of supplies soon and stop, then I will hope to slowly unload my inventory on friends.
So I will dust off my resume, figure out how to play my time off work, and find a sweet, simple job near home. I’ve got mixed feelings about going back to work. I’m relieved in a lot of ways to think I’ll be bringing in a real income again. Happy to feel useful again, back to normal. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to cut even an easy job. I’ll find the hours too draining. I barely knew how tired I was before I quit work and started getting the sleep my body actually needed. Maybe a part time job.
Maybe I should change careers. What does an ex-secretary do? Starting my own business doesn’t seem to be a viable option. My skills leave me wanting when it comes to sales experience. I have exactly none. I could start bartending, but I don’t think I could stand 8 hours straight any more. I don’t see myself as cashier, anywhere. I don’t have the memory for waiting tables. My bookkeeping skills leave something to be desired and I don’t want that responsibility.
What do secretaries do when they can’t secretary any more?