Ouch!


Damnit!  I fell again yesterday.  Stupid flip flop caught under the lip of the stair and bang.  A broken toe.  At least that’s what it feels like.  It looks like a tiny purple sausage. 

It’s like all of a sudden Karma is working against me in favor of gravity.  Not fair!  I fell a few months ago, my left foot got stuck between rocks (I think).  Last week I tripped going up the stairs.  Landed on my face.  Then again on Thursday at the grocery store parking lot.  Same thing, my left foot got stuck and down I went.  Lucky I wasn’t hurt more than a grease spot on my jeans and a bruised elbow.

I mentioned the falls to my neurologist, who just happened to call me to set an appointment.  I was supposed to see her a few months ago, apparently.   She’s ordered another MRI.  I get one nearly every year since my diagnosis with MS.    Usually I’m not concerned, but this time I’m wondering if I’ve got new lesions on my brain or spinal cord.

Since MS likes things symmetrical, I’m wondering if I am developing a gait problem or my old childhood clumsiness is just coming back.  I remember being rather klutzy as a young adult.  Frequent tripping.  I never thought about it until now, as possibly related to my MS.

My back has been in spasm all week.  The meds help, but only temporarily.  Today I am a delight to be near.  All I want is to sit comfortably and read.  I do less and less lately.  And with all this falling and tripping I’m going to be forbidden to leave the house alone for fear of hurting myself with a fall down three flights of concrete parking structure stairs.  I feel as if I am an 80-year-old lady learning she’s got to use the cane all the time.

Ugh, I hate these ugly things, but my wooden cane can become very tiresome to hold since I developed the hand problems. 

 

I am starting this year to feel truly handicapped by all these little inconveniences.  I was disappointed to hear my neurologist didn’t think steroids would help my hands.  Perhaps if the MRI shows a flare she will change her mind.

I don’t know about all MS’ers, but most of us count the years since diagnosis.  My years are labeled:  Year One-The Year of Learning; Year Two-Coping with Flares; Year Three-Acceptance; Four-The Year of Pain; and Five-The Year of Disability.

Today I am not looking forward to Year Six-The Year of Falling.

13 thoughts on “Ouch!

  1. I am so sorry for you. Strangely, I half fell yesterday (just from clumsiness) and twisted my ankle and can hardly walk today. Nothing compared to your situation but it does give me a sense of empathy.

  2. Oh That sounds all too familiar! I’ve broken more toes since diagnosis than ever before (and I did some stupid things as a kid lol). An MRI a year?? wow things are different where you are, I’ve not had one since I was diagnosed and probably won’t unless things take a severe dip or I join a research program! I hope your neuro has some ideas…are you on a DMD? I can’t remember (MS has stolen my memory). I thank the day I said yes to going on Rebif…went from 4 relapses in a year to one if I’m unlucky 🙂

    1. I’ve been on Copaxone for five years. No relapses since 2010. Just these continuous problems.

      The way I understand it, in the US, at least here in So Cal, the only way they can justify keeping you on the DMDs is to check for new lesions every year or so. If there are new lesions it would indicate the DMD was not working.

      Of course, you and I know that the presence of lesions in no way indicates the presence or absence of symptoms.

  3. Sorry that you’ve all these falls. Can you tell me what your hands are like? You may remember I have MS also but have had it since 1991 and am stable basically…Cognitive…difficulty with legs feeling like lead but can walk etc. I just went to have a test done and found out the problem with hands is not Carpal Tunnel and then saw a Physiatrist re chronic pain …muscles, bones etc. and cant’ find a reason there so have to basically find out it it’s the MS. I have severe pain,numbness and tingling when lying down..basically at night when I go to bed. Sometimes it goes up my arm…and no strength to open bottles etc. Can you relate to this type of problem with your hands?…just wondering..So far no one will commit that it is the MS but they don’t know what it is…Diane

    1. I do get pain shooting up my forearms, though not much lately. I also have a numb tingly area on my left shoulder which I think my be related as I used to get shooting pains up to my shoulder as well. I have a weak grip and cannot open bottles, use a can opener. I can push buttons and flip levers, but it is painful and difficult. My fine motor skills are not nearly as fine as they should be.

      Saw my neuro just last week. She’s stumped and has scheduled an MRI to look at possible changes. I don’t think anything significant will be found.

      My docs won’t say it’s MS in my hands either. But I’ve been tested a few times for carpal tunnel. Each time it’s negative. I saw a hand specialist last year. He diagnosed me with Dupetryn’s which he says does not affect the thumbs and is painless.

      I’ve been X-rayed for arthritis and that’s negative, and so is the rhuematoid. I’ve been tested for everything. MS is the only thing it could be.

      Sorry to hear you have similar problems. It’s a real bear and I’m afraid of how disabled I may actually be in 10 years.

    2. I do get pain shooting up my forearms, though not much lately. I also have a numb tingly area on my left shoulder which I think my be related as I used to get shooting pains up to my shoulder as well. I have a weak grip and cannot open bottles, use a can opener. I can push buttons and flip levers, but it is painful and difficult. My fine motor skills are not nearly as fine as they should be.

      Saw my neuro just last week. She’s stumped and has scheduled an MRI to look at possible changes. I don’t think anything significant will be found.

      My docs won’t say it’s MS in my hands either. But I’ve been tested a few times for carpal tunnel. Each time it’s negative. I saw a hand specialist last year. He diagnosed me with Dupetryn’s which he says does not affect the thumbs and is painless.

      I’ve been X-rayed for arthritis and that’s negative, and the test was negative for rheumatoid arthritis. I’ve been tested for everything. MS is the only thing it could be.

      Sorry to hear you have similar problems. It’s a real bear and I’m afraid of how disabled I may actually be in 10 years. Right now, I just ignore the pain as much as I can and wear my thumb braces and rest my hands when the pain gets too bad. I wonder about treating the pain with ice or heat. I haven’t found any relief. Have you?

  4. That must be very nerve wracking, falling over all the time, and then I guess when you’re not, you’re half expecting to. Those are very odd looking sticks you have there, but i guess they do the job. I do hope things get better for you soon!

    1. Thanks for your good wishes. That was yesterday. Today I’ve dusted myself off somewhat and made some decisions:

      I won’t be wearing the flip flops much longer and won’t wear them next year. I need something that fits snuggly and doesn’t catch on the steps. I’m shopping now for the perfect summertime slipper.

      I’ve also learned I need to watch the ground for uneven patches.

      Plus, I will start taking my stick with me, just in case.

      What else can you do? Right?

  5. i am so sorry to hear about your recent falls. i have taken a couple of pretty hairy falls off of our porch. it was embarrassing yet it is something i can joke about now.

    though heart failure is different in obvious ways from ms the labeling of yrs is similar. i have entered sort of a twilght zone period. there are no statistics to support our belief i will live beyond this year.

    i hope that you are not too discouraged. are you still titrating your meds? do you think that has any effect?

    1. Though two of the falls were before I started lowering the dosage,it still could be responsible for the others. I understood that getting off Effexor can be a real horror story. I know I’ve had other odd symptoms since the decrease started.

      The decrease in the meds is also probably why I feel so negative lately.

      Falls are funny as long as you don’t get hurt, and better if it happens to someone else. Glad you weren’t hurt.

      I wish you the best and know you cherish each day, if not each moment. Keep up the spirit, and I’ll try to do the same.

  6. Hi, I just found your blog. Sorry to hear of your MS. I’ve had arthritis for many years. No fun. Take care of yourself.

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