End of Life Decisions


I’ve been really unmotivated for the past few days, but did some work today.  I had to, we’re bringing Mom and R up for Thanksgiving.  I even swept the decks.  Still have the bathroom to clean and the kitchen to mop, but the house looks pretty presentable.  I’m done for today.  I’ve got all day tomorrow to finish.

R has gone for more tests this week.  Yesterday he had and MRI, of what, we’re not sure.  His whole body maybe?  We hate to ask too many questions, but Mom is fairly practical about all this.   They have placed all their papers in order and told us where to find them after they are gone.  They’ve asked for no funeral or gathering of any kind.  They would like us to let free two balloons.  We’ll give GS the honor of letting go of them.  They gave their bodies to USC.  The school will keep their bodies for study for 15 years after which they will cremate them and contact next of kin to arrange to pick up urns.  It looks so cold and business like written there, but it is such a kindness to your family.  We have very little to worry about when they pass.

I am thankful this year to my mother in law and her husband, for thinking ahead.  I worked in estate planning for 10 years and am familiar with all the feelings associated with making those end of life decisions.  Many people find it very uncomfortable.  I am glad Mom and R are so practical and have made this so much easier for us. 

I’m anxious that we have a great Thanksgiving, for it looks very likely to be our last with them.  Dinner is going to be a bit improvised; our oven door has broken and we won’t be able to get it fixed until next week.  The in-laws are accustomed to having ham, so I went to find a small one.   Apparently there is no such thing as a small ham, or maybe 8 lbs is small.  I don’t know, this is the first time I ever bought one.  (We gave up red meat some 30 years ago.)  I bought one that’s pre cooked, so theoretically all I have to do is heat it.  How long to microwave an 8 lb ham?  I suppose I could put it in the broiler on low.  That’s how I plan to cook my chicken breasts–I couldn’t find any turkey breasts, and a whole turkey would be impossible to cook without an oven.  It may not smell like Thanksgiving, but I’ll do what I can.  I’m sure it will be a memorable one.

8 thoughts on “End of Life Decisions

  1. It is a sad time but as you say this Thanksgiving together will make memories. I’m sure whatever you cook and prepare will be great…In case you don’t post tomorrow have a ‘Happy Thanksgiving’….Diane

  2. I’m sure this will be a memorable Thanksgiving for you. I’ve never cooked a ham so I can’t help you there (as Julie said above, we have ours cold).

    All the best to you and the family.

  3. You could always slice it thin and heat it on the hob in gravy if they want it hot and you have space on the hob! I hope you have a good Thanksgiving with them, I’m sure it will be just because you will all be together. xoxox

  4. good luck with the ham and btw pork is considered white meat. as for the pre-planning i couldn’t agree more. i made all my arrangements and spoke to my family months ago. it is such a relief to know that my husband won’t be burdened with trying to decide what seems “right.” we spoke to the rest of the family and i layed out my wishes and said these are my wishes so if you disagree say so now. everyone understood that my husband is so tender hearted i don’t want him to wonder if he should do more. i have told him this is for him not me. i will be gone so do what makes you happy.

    by now the dinner has been eaten and you have moved on from that problem. i am sure it all turned out fine. would it matter really if all you had were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? we all need to be grateful for our blessings for they are many!

    1. So true! Dinner was fine, though we did end up barbecuing the meat, and Mom and R weren’t there. I am glad it all ended up just fine.

      Thanks for helping to remind me to be thankful for every day.

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