Moving Forward

Well, we are cleaning out Mom and R’s apartment and trying to make a comfortable place for Mom in our two bedroom house.  Son is sleeping on the couch currently, while grandson will continue to sleep in their room with Mom.  Though she still wishes to return to her apartment.

Don’t know what to do with all the stuff she has gathered over the past 80 years.  Closets full of clothes, a refrigerator stuffed with food past due dates.  Big screen TVs to donate, computers to dispose of.  Floors to scrub and carpet that is worn and threadbare.  Mom and R were the manager’s of the little apartment house and there is rent to collect, as well as mail.  We need to contact the owner and let them know that Mom will be moving out soon.

It is a process, but for me the worst is over.  Dealing with a long-term illness is more than I can bear, the trips to the hospital, the false hope, is all too much for me.  I can deal with the aftermath much more easily.  The paperwork and things of that sort.  The non-personal issues.  I guess I don’t do people so well.

Son is dealing with it poorly.  He didn’t eat or sleep much in the past two months while R was ill.  He was also self- medicating with something he ordered online since he has no insurance and can’t afford to be properly medicated.   The night of Christmas we spent in the ER with him as we didn’t know what he’d taken and was catatonic for an hour.  He’s been having a bad time with his pain (bad back, bad knee and fibromyalgia) and depression.  We don’t know what to do with him most of the time.  This depression he’s in now is the worst I’ve ever seen.  I had a doctor appointment and asked for some Xanax for myself, but I’ve been giving the pills to him.

My own depression is lifted at last, and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel again.  If Mom stays with us our financial dilemma will improve as we will have a little more money coming in.  And there are a few things we may be able to sell.  I’m hopeful for the first time in months.

9 thoughts on “Moving Forward

  1. Sorry that it’s under such bad circumstances but I’m glad you’re seeing a light in that tunnel even with all the problems. I hope that this new year treats you better than the last one did and that everything levels out. Love, peace and harmony to you all xoxox

  2. You have certainly had your hands full and it seems will for awhile still. Can your son somehow get to a doctor that can help him with his depression…or does he not have any means to do so? Is there no help available whatever? This has got to be hard on everyone but especially him…and gs.

    I am glad to hear that your depression has lifted though in spite of the stress you’ve been under…..Hope things ease up some…Diane

    1. We will be applying for insurance aid for Son in the next few weeks. It will be a process. We have to prove he has no income and is unable to work. Once we have insurance coverage we will have him properly diagnosed and properly medicated.

      It will be difficult to get past his distrust of doctors. His trip to the ER ended terribly with the doctor giving him a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and a drug abuser. This after seeing him for no more than 2 minutes and not asking Son a single question. I was so angry, I wanted to write a letter to the hospital and complain, but to what end?

      I hope this year will be better. Thanks for the support. It means a lot.


      1. I’m glad he’ll be getting some help…ER doctors have I think a habit of assuming a lot of things …but labeling someone like you say after 2 minutes is awful…Diane

      2. He doesn’t have depression and pain because of the drugs–he’s self medicating for depression and chronic pain, and doctors just don’t seem to get it. I hope he will meet the right doctor this year.

  3. xanax can be great for some and for others it has side-effects you wouldn’t exect. all i am going to say is be careful giving someone medication that hasn’t been prescribed for them.

    after my first husband died suddenly i thought it would have been better to have some time with him and get used to the idea of him being gone. not long after i realized that sudden death is a kind of gift. at times i hate that i am taking so long and know that the very fact it is slow gives my husband hope that i will live longer than expected.

    2013 is going to be a better year in so many ways. Happy New Year and i hope you keep sharing your thoughts with us.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Luckily Son has taken Xanax before and there have been no harmful effects from giving him mine–a very low dosage. Either way, they only lasted a few days and I won’t refill the Rx.

      All the universe’s blessings on you and yours. I hope 2013 is a good year.

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