I wish I could say I was optimistic about this year, but I’m not. It seems life is falling apart all around me: my unemployment dilemma, my mom-in-law, my son. My son is having a terrible time with his grandad’s death. Not a terrible time, he just doesn’t want to feel the pain, so is turning to online prescriptions of Xanax and the like. I’m very worried about him, and am terrified that if we do lose the house and have to move, he will feel even worse. Rent is expensive in this area, but we wouldn’t want to have to change grandson’s schools.
I am sorry now we bought a house just 5 years ago. It would be much cheaper to rent. I’m hopeful that mom has some money in her bank account to help us, but I doubt she has very much, maybe be able to make a couple more mortgage payments. I am trying to resign myself to the reality of losing the house. I can’t see a way out at this point. We could trying selling, but in California the seller is responsible for many of the costs involved in making a sale. We couldn’t hope to make a dime in selling it. It hurts and I am having a tough time of it, but I’m trying hard today. I need to keep it together for son and grandson.
I hate all this so much. I’m sorry I quit my job last year, but I knew I couldn’t keep it. I will try another employment agency, maybe just be upfront and ask for their help. I also will make an appointment with a DI lawyer and see what they say about my future. I completed my appeals forms, now I just need to see a lawyer to see if I actually have a winnable case. I have the evidence of my poor performance of pre-employment tests on the computer. My comprehension of MSWord and Excel is less than 50%. My typing speed has decreased almost 50%. I can barely manage 50 wpm now, mostly because of all the spelling errors. I used to be able to spell anything. I could even figure out how a word I’ve never known was spelled. Now I can hardly remember how to spell my own name.
Meanwhile, I continue to put my resume out, but I feel like I’m misrepresenting myself. I don’t know how to change my resume. I suppose I could ignore my resume and go in like I have no experience, but that doesn’t seem fair to me. I’ve always believed in honesty and find it hard to do anything else. How do I get experience in a new field? Someone suggested I contact a local MS chapter and see if they could help. I will be calling them next week.