How excited I was to see in my email box a notice for an interview! Don’t worry, I approach these invitations with caution. The only jobs I’m apparently worth interviewing are for sales jobs. I’m not a salesman and nothing in my resume would lead you to believe I was.
Here’s the latest offer:
I found your resume through Monster.com and thought you’d be a great fit for a role as a Family Service Counselor with our Company, Service Corporation International, this is for Valley Oaks Memorial Park in (my town). This is an invitation to join me at a group interview on Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at 10am or Wednesday, February 13, at 2pm. The interview session may take up to 2 hours. There is limited seating, so please respond to this email to confirm the interview. The interview Location is: Eternal Valley Memorial Park Mortuary…
We Offer: Base and Commission: Fulltime needed.
· Stability – SCI*—– is the nation’s LARGEST provider of funeral, cremation and cemetery services
·Full benefits (Including Medical, Dental and Vision Insurance PLUS a 401K with a GENEROUS company match)
·Management and Advancement Opportunities
·Unlimited Income Potential via a commissioned incentive package.
When arriving, please head straight up the hill and feel free to contact me direct if you have any questions or concerns.
Alas, of all the things I cannot do, it’s sales. I personally do not like the advertising business. I find it extremely unpleasant to even consider selling anything. The most disgusting sales position I can think of is that of a coffin salesman. I know, I know, it is an important task, and one many people need, and one has to be extremely sensitive. But I just don’t buy into the whole funeral thing. I don’t need a coffin, why do I need to be safe and sound until the end of time in a satin lined box. I’d never be able to convince some poor old widow I might as well be plant food, the way nature intended.