The most annoying drug is whatever my son has been taking. He gets annoying, in that if he’s apparently taken too much and is asleep on his feet and will not stop or go to bed. He wanders the house like a ghost, and mumbles and forgets what day it is.
He’s taken it before, and was catatonic because he’d taken too much. Of course, we freaked out and called 911 and landed in the ER where they barely looked at him, and the doctor was in his presence less than 1 minute. Virtually no tests were run. He was labeled a drug seeker and sent home.
He’s still been taking whatever it is and tonight he’s nearly catatonic. He’s actually falling asleep on his feet and will not go to bed. Every time I wake him up to put him to bed he says he’s just exhausted, and to please leave him alone, he was fine. He said it’s his job to give up sleeping. He gets angry and says people should just let him be, but he’s practically on the floor, he can’t speak and will soon just pass out, probably in the bathroom, where he’s been hiding since the last time I woke him, about 5 minutes ago.
Husband, of course is furious. Mom is frightened and I am at my wits end. I know why he uses this drug, but he always pushes it past the limit. I’m afraid for him and wish he would stop, but he claims it’s the only thing that helps him stay even. But he also adds high doses of Valerian and other relaxative herbs. Unfortunately, he only thinks it helps him, because he doesn’t see what we see. He thinks he’s talking to you, but he’s not making a sound, or mumbling. At 11:00 am today he looked up and asked where husband was. Thing is, it was 11:00 am, and Thursday. Husband was at work, why? I thought he was back already.
I’m afraid for him. I’m terrified thinking about the next big argument. Husband has wanted to kick son out for years because of his drug use. I’m the one that enables him, but I don’t know what else to do. I want to let him use this drug but to be more careful, but I know he won’t manage that. I can’t stick him in a rehab facility; he’d never do it. What options do I have? There is no relative he could stay with, unless he stayed with his ex’s family. What about grandson?
Sometimes I absolutely hate my life. I don’t want to go to my bedroom and discuss this with husband right now. I just want to hide from it all and say “I give up”!