More Car Crap

Mom will not release her unused and unusable (by her) car without signing over the title to Son’s ex.  Her desperation with transportation is very high, but Mom won’t budge.  Ex said she can have the car insured immediately, but Mom thinks if she gets into a car accident, Mom will be held responsible. 

It puts me in a serious bind, because no one else seems to understand how this process works and I apparently am unable to explain it.  There are three forms we need, one is a request to transfer title without a title (we have no idea where the title to the car is), then there is the release of liability, then we have to fill out another form explaining why Mom isn’t on the title, then take it all to the DMV with the death certificate.  The only thing I’m not sure about is whether they are going to request a marriage license.  That would just push off transferring the title of the car for at least another month.


Son is getting upset, ex is getting freaked out,and I feel I am smack in the middle, Mom is scared of getting stuck with a huge bill

8 thoughts on “More Car Crap

  1. your mom’s fear is reasonable. maybe ask her if there is anything that will reassure her that she is not at risk. is there some official at the insurance company or the dmv who could back you up? hearing it from someone else might get through to her.

    you have incredible strength to take all of this on. i hope you have someone to lean on.

    1. I understand her concerns as well, but her risk is minimal, and it is my understanding that once the insurance on the car is in Ex’s name, most of Mom’s liability is gone. Still I don’t want to push her. She was upset about it last night, but we worked it out where Ex will be able to borrow one of our cars if necessary. I’ll be contacting DMV Monday to make an appointment to hopefully get this all done.

      Thanks for your kind words. It feels better to know there are people who support me emotionally and mentally, even if they are people I will likely never actually meet in person.

    1. No, and she is afraid to sign one. I’ve seen it before. It can be very difficult and it seems to make them feel quite insecure and a loss of power. I’ll keep working on her, gently, encouraging her. If I can explain to her the problems we’re currently having can be avoided if she would give us the permission now.

  2. How frustrating..caught in the middle for sure… When you say title do you mean ownership? Were they driving without having an ownership? I would suppose one more headache is to prove she was married to R without certificate… unless with computer age such information is available online…or a piece of mail or example IRS of a previous year listing her as the wife…or a piece of mail saying Mr R …. and Mrs. ? ….. on it…would suffice. I know she is hoarding her mail and probably lost some but can you tell her that it would be VERY helpful if she would allow you to look for something like that… Diane

    1. I’ve asked her a couple of times if she wants me to look at any of her mail. I’m only partially successful. It seems that absolutely everything was in R’s name–alone. Her name isn’t on any of the bills, statements, car title, etc.

      In California the seller has to sign his title over to the buyer. Since we cannot locate the title in Mom’s things, we can complete another form, but it still needs to be signed by the legal owner, R. With the death cert I think we can transfer the car. I hope so. I’m waiting for the DMV to call me back.

    1. Every day is a challenge. The other day she paid a bill, and the credit card company sent it back. She actually has a credit. I’ve explained it to her, but I’ll bet it happens again next month. If she’d just let me look at her mail. Yesterday she sent something to the VA, but I don’t know what and she can’t explain what it was. Frustrating.

      Thanks for the understanding.

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