Good News?

In the mail today I received a response from social security.  They dismissed my appeal, because it was late.  I went down to social security myself, in person, to bring them my appeal.  The lady had me fill out a form and write why my appeal was late.  I noted that though it was dated November, I never received it until January.  Is that clear?  Could that have been misunderstood?  No.  No one read my letter, no one looked any farther than the dates.  Now I have to appeal their dismissal, explain again why the appeal was late, only for them to tell me my hearing will be next year sometime.  My tax dollars at work. 

Then, not 10 minutes from getting the mail, I get a call from one of the employment agencies.  They have a possible gig for me.  I did a Skype interview.  Not 15 minutes later Alex from the agency calls me back.  The client wants me to start Monday!  Yay!  Job offer!!  One catch, it’s only a six month temp job.  But it would give me an idea of what I can and can’t do any more.  I think I could handle anything for six months. 

Second catch: it starts Monday!  That’s only two days away!

Ah, but what happens to my disability claim?  If I can work, that means I’m not disabled.  But it I don’t handle the job well, or even get fired, will that work for me if I pursue disability?  Of will working even for a day.  I wish the system worked with you instead of against you.  I’m pretty sure I’m not totally disabled, but I don’t know what I can do until I do it and handle it without issue. 

True, if I can do this job, then I can do it other places and the disability claim is obviously moot.  If I fail this time, it should work in my favor, because it shows I’m willing to try to go back to work.

Do I need to contact my neurologist and tell her I’m going back to work.  If I need to I will ask her to release me from disability, writing a letter indicating the type of tasks I am still able to do?

Damn, I wish I never retired.  My life’s been going downhill ever since.  I feel so guilty and  I feel stupid and think the stress just got to be too much.  That I’m ok now.  I can go back to my regular type work, just with less stress, less stressful drive.  But I worry, When will it build up again?  Will it happen again?

10 thoughts on “Good News?

  1. Are you reading my mind today? I hate those questions when my mind won’t leave me alone with them. Sorry to hear you had bad news from the social and your minds on a ‘Why’ rampage. Sending you (((hugs))) and a hope for some peace this weekend xox

    1. Thanks. I’m not feeling too peaceful right now. I have to decide today whether I’m going to pursue disability, or take this job starting Monday, I’ve got a call in to the doctor and lawyer, but doubt I’ll hear anything before Monday. Argh!

  2. I know you’re venting ’cause you’re frustrated at so many levels….Some of your why’s while very annoying have a reason…especially the forgetfulness …M.S. plus stress…. but that doesn’t help you to know there’s a reason…you’re just feeling what you’re feeling…and that’s okay….Diane

  3. Is it MS that you have? You mum was diagnosed with MS 23 years ago, she has been very lucky that it hasn’t been progressive and she managed to continue her career as a local government lawyer until she retired at 60. Stress and tiredness seem to be the biggest factors in her episodes. If she can keep the stress limited then she could carry on a fairly normal life.
    She has had to battle to finally get her disabled parking badge, she doesn’t walk very far without sticks/crutches due to her dropped foot/knee replacement that didn’t fully work.
    Good luck
    I know if it was me I would prefer to be working, for my own self esteem.

    1. Yes, I would rather work as well. My fear is that fatigue and stress will not make that possible. If I find I can’t do the work, I’ve voided my pending appeal and have to start all over again. It is only a temporary position (6-9 mos) and I’ve got a lot at stake.

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