Things have settled down pretty well now. I think the increase in my ADs and son’s is really key. Though I still am having a lot of trouble with GS and his attitude. He’s nine, but he acts like a 14yr some of the time: unruly, obstreperous, rude. Typical teenage stuff. Then there are the many times he acts like a young child, talking in baby talk, or not being quiet when asked or demanded. In fact, if you ask him to be quiet because you are watching something on TV, he will continue talking, and probably get up and stand between you and the TV. I am done dealing with that. If he starts getting smart, I leave the room. I’ve been in my room a lot lately.
Son received his online drugs yesterday. He told me that he through everything out (somewhere near $300 worth). Then late last night he admitted he couldn’t throw everything out. He has been so much better yesterday and today, because he is taking this drug. II told him I’m OK with it, but he’d best keep it under control. I truly hope he can. At this point I don’t really care what he’s taking because it seems to really help him with mood and the chronic pain. Though I am also very worried, because I don’t know what’s in the stuff or how it might hurt him.
Still getting used to Mom being here. It’s getting a little better, but then she has been spending a lot of time in her room. Mainly to give S some room and an opportunity to watch something other than NCIS reruns. I have been trying to get her out every couple days, and that seems to be improving her attitude. She is no longer depressed (at least visibly) over R’s death, while S is still trying to come to grips with it. How can she be so accepting? Without H I’d be lost. No one to call when I needed help. No one to keep me warm at night. But she and R had a peculiar relationship it would appear by the amount of pornography we found when cleaning up their apartment.
Mom will not answer the phone and it drives me nuts. She’lll have it in her hand in the living room, but she’ll bring it to me in the kitchen (where I am busy). Argh! I know it comes from her marriage. R never answered the phone and so apparently she didn’t either. It always rolled over to voicemail. I don’t understand why he did it. He said at one time it was to prevent being called in to work on a day off (he was manager of a Radio Shack at the time). I guess it became ingrained habit even after he retired. I find it weird and annoying, as a great many of the phone calls we now receive are for her.
She continues to be odd about her mail as well. She loves to go to the box to get it and has to sort through it as she walks back to the house. Then she takes her mail into her room and shuts the door. Sometimes she brings something to me or S if she has a question. She also refuses to fix herself anything to eat. If someone doesn’t make her breakfast, she won’t eat it. If no one prepares her lunch, she may finally get up and find some crackers to nibble on. She has always liked being catered to, but I never thought is was all the time.
I’m convinced she has always been this way and none of these habits have come to her as she aged. I can recall many many times when we all got together, she never had anything to say unless someone said it first. If I say dinner was good, she will immediately parrot me. If I mention it is cool outside (even if it’s rather warm) she will agree with me. I have never met anyone quite like her.
Mom doesn’t seem to have really much of a personality and I wonder about her upbringing. She was born in 1929 and for the earliest years her family was itinerant farm laborers. It looks like it was for a bout 4-5 years. I imagine living like that does something to some people. Even though she was a toddler, I’m sure she became aware very young that her family was dirt poor. Eventually her father became a machinist, and presumably things improved.
Mom talks very little about her life before R. Maybe she just doesn’t remember that far back. It seems she has one or two memories of her childhood, at least I’ve only heard one or two stories. I guess she doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe she wants to forget her first marriage to my husband’s father. I know their relationship was rocky at times, but they were dirt poor then. Many times Husband would come home from school to find nothing to eat but mac and cheese, no toilet paper, and the power was cut off.
Of course, I don’t talk much about my family either. I have few pleasant memories. For me it seemed my life started when I married H. But Mom was 40 when Husband’s dad died of cancer. She remarried a year almost to the day of her first husband’s death. That has always rankled husband.
Asked my neuro to release me from disability so I can start collecting unemployment as I look for a job. As soon as I receive it I can apply for benefits. I sent my resume in response to about 15 jobs. I’ve got my fingers seriously crossed!
I think I’m ready for the next catastrophe (which may start tonight if H does have an abscessed tooth as he fears). Luckily, he is usually wrong when he thinks he has some ailment, so I’m hopeful he proves wrong again. He is going to see our GP to check if the tooth or gum is inflamed or infected and possibly get some antibiotics. He has terrible teeth (and very few are left) and we have had poor dental coverage for more than 20 years. He won’t go to the dentist because of the cost. I don’t want to have to listen to him moan in pain when it could be alleviated with a trip to the dentist, albeit an expensive trip to the dentist.
I was going to post today on how beautiful our weather has been lately. Although the weathermen keep predicting rain, fog and cool temps, for the most part we are above average in temp and below average in rain. We have had enough recent rain to at least get the wildflowers blooming. Tomorrow I hope to share some photos of our wildflowers. That is, unless some new disaster strikes.