I Wish


I wish I was working.  I wish I wasn’t going to lose my house.  I wish I never bought the house.  I wish my doctor would write a letter releasing me from DI.  I wish I hadn’t freaked out and left my last job. I wish I knew what to do.  I wish.

But wishes are for children blowing the fluff from a dandelion.  Wishing doesn’t help me prepare some sort of plan to become gainfully employed despite the world’s efforts to keep me from it.  You’d think 25 years experience would be enough, but it’s not.  They still want you to have a degree.  I did have someone contact me about working, but when I called all they were doing was trying to push you to go to school.  Weird.  Why place an ad that looks like a job ad, only to try to sell me a degree?  I should’ve applied for the job at the funeral home.  Seems stupid to me now that I didn’t.  Why is it only stupid in retrospect?  Why wasn’t it a stupid thought when the job was available? 

I’d love to do something other than secretarial work, but I don’t know how to find other work.  I did answer a couple of ads for bakery workers, shelf stocking for Kellogg’s, grocery store clerk.  But my skills don’t seem to translate to that type of work.  So, today I am going to try to figure out a better way to sell my skills.  I’m open to suggestions, but I’m starting with doing my resume over in a different format.  First I have to figure out what that format is.

This is my life now.  A constant worry about money, and I kick myself everyday for the stupid choices I have made.  I wish it could be different.  I’m trying to change things, but it feels like I’m failing.  Another thing to try to accomplish today is call a debt counselor for an appointment.

I wish my life were different.  I wish I could change it.  It seems all I can do is try, but what happens when trying is not enough?

7 thoughts on “I Wish

  1. Hi!… Been wondering how you’re doing… I was really thinking of possibilities of finding a job. … Have you (I can’t remember) placed an ad listing your abilities, skills and type of job you are looking for…ie instead of looking for ads…’sell yourself’ and place one terrific ad …’seeking employment’ etc.

    The other thing and I don’t know exactly how it works but I’m sure you’ve heard of Linked In… I looked online to see what it is and it looks like a place where companies look for employees and where you can look in your area etc. It seems like you join/register… but I don’t know much especially if there’s a fee . Somehow I don’t think there is …probably the employer pays… But maybe something you might look into…look online. Like I said I didn’t go in depth with my research but I know it is quite well known
    It is probably a good idea to look at your resume and see if it can be improved…I’m certainly not an expert but if you want a second pair of eyes to look at it….you can send it to me via email….

    Most of all you are feeling beaten down and likely your confidence in yourself shaken…but the best thing you can do is ‘believe in yourself’…

    I am so sad that things have not been going at all well…. Please don’t give up… I will hope and believe with and for you….Diane

    1. Diane

      Thanks for thinking about me. Things are starting to improve, and I am working at staying optimistic, though I am also trying to accept what I can’t change.

      I just got approved to receive unemployment! That is a huge weight. At least now I can have some sort of income while I continue to look for work.

      As to LinkedIn, I already belong and check in on things at least once a week. Mostly I’m only being contacted by placement agencies so far. But it may just pay off.

  2. Its so nice to hear from you. A while back when I moved back home from working overseas a friend shared with me a search engine site for jobs called indeed.com
    If you are already familiar with it, my apologies. Although, this little site is really powerful when it comes to looking for employment. I believe you are do for a few breaks, you are in my thoughts and I wish you the very best. Take care!

    1. I am familiar with Indeed.com, and get routed to them through my LinkedIn account, but never thought of putting my resume up there. Worth trying. Thanks.

      I’m hoping I’m due some breaks, perhaps things are starting to turn around.

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