I wish I was working. I wish I wasn’t going to lose my house. I wish I never bought the house. I wish my doctor would write a letter releasing me from DI. I wish I hadn’t freaked out and left my last job. I wish I knew what to do. I wish.
But wishes are for children blowing the fluff from a dandelion. Wishing doesn’t help me prepare some sort of plan to become gainfully employed despite the world’s efforts to keep me from it. You’d think 25 years experience would be enough, but it’s not. They still want you to have a degree. I did have someone contact me about working, but when I called all they were doing was trying to push you to go to school. Weird. Why place an ad that looks like a job ad, only to try to sell me a degree? I should’ve applied for the job at the funeral home. Seems stupid to me now that I didn’t. Why is it only stupid in retrospect? Why wasn’t it a stupid thought when the job was available?
I’d love to do something other than secretarial work, but I don’t know how to find other work. I did answer a couple of ads for bakery workers, shelf stocking for Kellogg’s, grocery store clerk. But my skills don’t seem to translate to that type of work. So, today I am going to try to figure out a better way to sell my skills. I’m open to suggestions, but I’m starting with doing my resume over in a different format. First I have to figure out what that format is.
This is my life now. A constant worry about money, and I kick myself everyday for the stupid choices I have made. I wish it could be different. I’m trying to change things, but it feels like I’m failing. Another thing to try to accomplish today is call a debt counselor for an appointment.
I wish my life were different. I wish I could change it. It seems all I can do is try, but what happens when trying is not enough?