Those two things don’t usually go hand in hand, but this time it did. The other night husband and I watched a reality program (I know, I don’t usually, but H had it on and I got sucked in) where a couple married 25 years, experiencing empty nest, and having troubles in the marriage. The husband was coming across as a real ass, critical of his wife (who has spent her entire life raising their 5 kids and managing the house). The wife, though is trying to make changes. She wants to put more fun into their life.
Anyway, the show got me and H talking (surreptitiously) about the show, each of us defending various actions. H tried to explain to me that men are just hardwired to be the breadwinner and feeling like they provide well for their family. I countered with that hardwired or not, when one in a relationship wants change, if the other doesn’t at least occasionally compromise the marriage is doomed, unless the one who initially wanted to change, changes their mind.
Of course we were really both discussing our relationship, and it feels like we might be starting to make some progress toward change. I’m excited, but cautiously so. Something about a cathartic cry has kicked something in me. I’m suddenly more at ease with family interrupting me. It was pointed out that if ADHD was involved they maybe can’t help it. Thinking of it not as another compromise, but more as some acceptance of my family’s quirks. I know I have mine, though I don’t believe any of them cause any distress to anyone, maybe they do.
I’m also thrilled to report that I fit into two pair of jeans today that I haven’t been able to wear for at least the last 6 months. Even though my scale has me losing only a couple pounds, the initial work I was attempting was doing something, albeit slowly. I’m now even more energized with the idea of exercise. My Restless Leg Syndrome has been acting up recently, which makes me do a lot of yoga and stretching.
I took Mom down to a friends for a few days, and husband is taking Friday off so we are going to spend some time and money on a bit of a road trip, just the two of us. The beach!! I hope it goes well.