Despite a rocky Friday night enduring stoney silence, things are going all right. Though S and H haven’t talked about Thursday, but they are talking. Son’s birthday is next week, so today we bought him a new stereo for his car. He hasn’t had a working stereo for a long time, which lead him to use my car for long rides (you can’t drive in LA without music). Now he can take his own. Well worth the investment. It puts the burden of gas and maintenance back on him.
I honestly don’t know what we did wrong raising S. Maybe we were too lax. S recently told me about his many difficulties at school that I never knew about. And I was active in his education. I volunteered time to his classes, called teachers after hours, pissed off some of them. Yet there was bullying to be endured, horrible daily threats that the bully made about killing him, killing his family. He was about 11 I think he said. He never told either me or his dad about it. No wonder I never knew about how early his drug years began. By the time he gave them up at 25, he’d been using for almost 15 yrs. And I never knew.
I feel pretty stupid about that. How could I not know? Well S never informed me, but I never sensed something going on? I never noticed some evidence of the bullying and difficulties at school. I was pretty quick to condemn the parents of the Columbine shooters. How could they not know their kids were this troubled? Now I understand it. How well kids learn to cope with difficulties, how quickly they learn to hide. I’ll never understand that.
Husband and I didn’t make it to the beach today (cold and foggy there), but we had breakfast out together before we bought Son’s gift. Now I think we’re going to take a nap together. Then we plan to order pizza and watch a movie together, with Son.