I just found out I cannot appeal the latest decision by disability to dismiss my case without looking at my additional medical conditions.  Stupid me, I should’ve tried suicide a year ago, then maybe I could’ve claimed depression and MS.  I just didn’t think it was necessary to list absolutely every tiny issue.

Now I’m screwed.  Well, no more screwed than I was two months ago, but still, it’s disappointing.  Especially since no jobs are on the horizon–unless I know bookkeeping, sales, or marketing, which I don’t.  But I have decided I will not drive longer than 25-30 minutes.  My last commute was 1.5 hours each way.  It was killing me, or would, because there were times I almost nodded off.  Then I’d get home eat and fall into bed by 7PM.  Never feeling rested, sleep deprived even.

But that’s all past, I’m moving forward, if I lose the house, I lose it.  If we have to file bankruptcy, I’ve made my peace with it.  I want a much more simple life.  Less complicated, less stuff, less work and more Life.  Losing everything will make that easy.  My only concern is securing housing without any credit.  I doubt there are too many apartments will let you move in without a credit card these days.  Or rent a moving van.   So it’s hard no to be concerned.

I’ve started talking to husband about living in the city of Seattle, not way out in the boonies 20 miles from the nearest little tourist town.  I’ve never lived in the city, and it has a certain appeal, especially as we get older.  There comes a time when you have to give up driving.  I wouldn’t mind giving up driving.  I just feel that there would be more life I can get H and I involved in.  Volunteering, getting more politically involved, hanging out in coffee houses and talking with the kids and the hippies.  Learning to paint, doing stand up.

Husband would much rather withdraw from society, venturing into town only when absolutely necessary.  He’d love a big garden and a greenhouse.  Part of me would like this too, but then I think I’m still too ingrained as to want what H wants.  That will be the ultimate test.

But I’m getting too far ahead.  First I have to learn to meditate and live in today.  Anyway, I’m trying to re-adjust.

Now I’m off to hide myself away and work on the routine I hope to put up on Youtube today.

8 thoughts on “Crap

  1. Can you still reapply again? If you have to declare bankruptcy like a friend of mine did..she went to this ‘trustee’ who walked her through the process … He said to make sure and go get a new apt. before declaring.. And not sure if it’s the same in the US but he advised her to not pay the bills for the last 2-3 months…save the money for first and last months rent because that would be considered part of her debt when she declares….. and a few other things so maybe you have something similar there.. Just some thoughts… Diane

    1. All good thoughts. That is my concern–getting a place before we declare, and of course, not paying all my bills shortly before the move to save money. We will need an attorney to file though, but I don’t know the rules. But it’s not something you can do on your own, I don’t think. There’s some research to do there.

      1. Here in Canada you go to trustees that specialize in bankruptcy…cheaper than a lawyer…I think.. I googled Bankruptcy Trustees in California and there is information there… you need to go to Credit counseling first before filing.. I didn’t link it as you likely aren’t looking now .. Diane

      2. Thank you for the information. I will start gathering information, but I’m sure I’ll manage to figure it out. I consulted with a credit counselor and they could only consolidate two of my three credit cards, Not really a big savings so I didn’t pursue it, but I’ll check with other counselors. Thanks again for the helpful info!

    1. No, they are probably dismissing and denying applications by the thousands right now what with the financial bind the US is in. (Yeah, like I don’t know about financial hardship.)

      Redoubling my efforts to find a job.

  2. I am in the middle of doing a post called Change and it refers to things that make us do things we do not really want to, but life dictates otherwise.. also did one one last week on health issues which also dictates our life,, and we seem to accept even if we begrudge.. I look forward to your video take care. 😉

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