Death and Foreclosure

Homeowners talking with Bank reps regarding refinancing in order to keep their homes.

No it hasn’t happened yet, but at this point I would welcome it.  I heard from BofA and the Save Your Home people (EDD) this week.  They both want more paperwork that I’ve already sent them.  The bank wants me to circle my EDD deposits even though they say they know which deposits are from my EDD account.  It doesn’t make sense.  I’m convinced that both BofA and EDD employe people just to carry files from one desk to another, only to shift them around and do nothing.  Then after two months call and ask for updated bank statements.  It’s beyond stupid.  It’s harassment.

I thought I’d made some progress after lodging a couple of complaints about the bank.  The last time I spoke with the bank they made it clear that I would have an answer by the end of the month.  That was in July .  Then they contacted me a couple of weeks ago asking for papers they already had.  I explained they had those, then they emailed me to ask me to circle my EDD deposits.  Stupid.  And today I heard from the EDD and they asked for the same papers the bank did, which they also have and I pointed that out.  Then they said they needed some other documents.  Now I have to dig up my EDD notifications for June.  Of course after I waited two months or more for them to contact me with a definite answer as to whether I would be able to refinance or qualify for assistance, I’m no closer to closure on either subject.  I have to dig up the papers, go down to the mailbox place and fax the stuff to each of them.  They want the documents in the next day or so.  Why are they in such a rush to get paperwork they won’t look at for two months!  Because I know it will be another month at least before I hear back from them when they call and ask for more of the same information.

I truly no longer believe either one will come through in our favor.   I’m tired of them dragging their feet, only to find after dealing with this shit for (probably) two more years.  I don’t have the energy.  I am convinced the house will be in foreclosure by the beginning of the new year and right now I don’t care.  I’m just tired of the endless requests for the same information.

My acceptance attitude only goes so deep right now.  I’m pretty bummed today.  It’s been a rough week with H being laid up by his kidney stones, and the heat, I’m at the end of my patience.  I didn’t get to either of my classes this week and missed my appointment with my therapist because H is laid up and I didn’t know if I was going to have to take him to the ER because of his pain.

I don’t feel like doing anything today, or tomorrow for that matter.  Hopefully H will be able to go back to work on Monday and things can “get back to normal” whatever that is.  I won’t deal with the house stuff until Monday.  They can just wait until I have the peace of mind to look for what they want and get it all faxed to them.  They want me to jump each time they contact me and I’m supposed to get the docs to them by the next two days.  Why, so I can wait two months for them to ask for the same papers again???  I just can’t stand it.

It’s going to be a tough year.

It looks like our older dog will definitely be put down this year,  He has so much trouble getting to his feet and he growls at you if you try to help him.  He’s a terrible patient and needs to be muzzled for the vet and sedated just to be examined.  He’s been a very difficult dog and I don’t believe he would have lived this long if not for our patience (stupidity?) and love for him.  He can’t help the way he is and we have “fixed” most of his issues.  Even so, I’d like to take him to the vet just to see what we can do, if anything for his hips.  But I’m not sure the ordeal of sedation would be good for him, or rush things along.

Death (Markus Zusak, The Book Thief)

Our friend B died last Tuesday.  His family said they were all at his bedside at home when he passed into his next life and it was a peaceful and beautiful moment for them.   I can’t believe he’s gone.  He’s actually the first person I truly deeply cared about that has died.  It’s easy most days because we have no major reminders of him.  But I see his pictures on friends FB pages and it brings tears to my eyes every time.  You have to understand what a special guy he was.  He was the life of the party, the glue of the old group of friends and brought them together for the past 20 years.  He was full of life, hysterically funny, and just a beautiful soul.  We miss him very much.  I haven’t heard about anyone in California doing any sort of memorial service here in his hometown or not, but I would like to do something.  But since I don’t really understand what the falling out was with the gang and H, I’m not sure I should contact them and try to set something up.  Neither am I sure that if others have the same idea and plan something that they will again exclude H from the info and therefore he obviously wouldn’t be able to attend.  I suppose we could do something with just the four of us, but I am at a loss as to what sort of memorial to do with just four people, one of them 10 years old.

It’s already been a tough year and it doesn’t look to be getting any better.  Hospice is now visiting H’s sister for her advanced COPD.  That’s been about a month now, and it seems she’s recovering somewhat.

H’s brother is also unhealthy with COPD, probably emphysema, and a shoulder problem that he’s already had surgery on.  Then last week he was all doped up on pain meds, tripped and fell, re-injuring the still healing shoulder.  He was told he will now require a second surgery.  We’re all broke and living in our own little corners of hell with little compassion for what the others are going through.  I try not to judge my bro and sister in laws for their lack of any interest in what H is going through.  They don’t know he’s been ill, but then compared to their problems, his seems, while extremely painful, not so bad.  I’m working on my compassion but it is a work in progress.

Mom seems like the only one feeling fairly well.  She is settling in at the residence and seems to now be taking part in the many activities they offer.  I think she would be happier in a private room, of course it would be more money, but what’s she saving her money for if it isn’t to live her last months comfortably?  If she doesn’t spend her money now on things she wants or wants to do, the state/feds will make her spend all her money on he final health care bill before Medicare and Social Security  pays their share.

It looks like the US is going to Syria, we’re still in Afghanistan, there are thousands of soldiers who have come back with PTSD and major depression.  The VA can barely help these people, and now you’re going to add more soldiers to that mix when they come home from Syria.

Right now I am depressed about my world and the greater world.  I desperately need a vacation, but will have to wait for H’s next available time off.  We are planning to go to Washington, spend some time in Seattle and Tacoma and see what rentals are like.  For some reason I am more comfortable with the idea of a condo/townhouse, rather than a single family house out in the boonies.  We might find a compromise with a little private house near the city.

I hope all of you are well today and have a wonderful weekend!

4 thoughts on “Death and Foreclosure

  1. Sorry for the loss of your friend Linda. And of course for all the ongoing problems with the bank… It truly must wear you out..

    I hope you get to go away for a few days in the not too distant future….It would help I think just to get away! Take care and you have a good weekend too!.. Diane

    1. We do plan to go away in December, but that’s still a long way off. Today was just a set back, I’ll get back on track tomorrow. Perhaps there is a meditation I could go to at the Buddhist Center.

      Thank you for your kinds words. I hope things are well with you. I need to catch up a bit on your blog.

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