The last few days I have been extraordinarily tired. I hope it’s just the heat. But I can’t get enough sleep. I wake up tired, and go back to bed just a couple hours later and take another nap in the afternoon. I’ve even been sleeping through the night–which I rarely do any more.
I’m so tired today (after two naps) that I just can’t begin to write an intelligent post, or read. I’ve felt so out of it, so unable to read, write or do anything of consequence online. I was a little concerned that I was getting depressed again. I’m trying to watch myself a bit more closely, because it seems like my depression can sneak up on me lately.
So far I’ve only made it to the Buddhist Center only the one time. I was thinking about volunteering there, but I have to wait to see what happens at the animal shelter. I go for the tour of the shelter on Saturday, and soon after that will find out what schedule I’ll have.
I’ve been re-reading “Buddhist Bootcamp.” The chapters are short and each is finished by terrific quotes. The author is a monk with a keen way to simplify things and it’s working for me. I’ve actually started to meditate (well I’m trying), and have had the briefest of glimpses into a peaceful mind.
Zumba is kicking my butt I’m barely getting the steps down and we’re half way through. I guess I will be able to take the class again. I tried to find online tutorials, which are actually abundant, but I guess each instructor has their own steps and music, and I haven’t found anything like my class. I asked my instructor about it yesterday, and she was going to send me more info. I figure we do salsa steps, the rumba, and Havah Nagilah so I will look those up and concentrate on learning the proper steps. It’s so hard for me to follow the steps, the hand movements I barely listen to the music. Plus, apparently you lose all sense of rhythm.
Tai Chi is also kicking butt. Trying to remember the moves is near impossible. That, plus the dance steps of Zumba is too much this week. I’m so tired this week, so maybe next week will be easier. Right now, I don’t even want to go to Tai Chi tomorrow, but maybe I’ll have more energy tomorrow.
Part of the Buddhist Bootcamp talks about denying yourself. Denying myself chocolate is probably one of my toughest tasks. Well, chocolate, and ice cream, and brownies. Preferably together, is my absolute favorite treat and my biggest challenge to deny myself. Especially if I have a bad day and feel I need to reward myself. Of course, what kind of reward is it if it is bad for me, right? That’s the way I have to start looking at it. Not as a reward, but as a punishment. That ought to keep me away from brownies!
I was hoping to see a change in my weight doing Zumba, but so far nothing. Maybe by the end of the 8 weeks I’ll drop a few pounds. Plus I’m cracking down on myself for eating too many snacks. For me it’s an all or nothing problem. I can’t stop at just one chocolate. And if I’m going to eat ice cream, I want a chocolate sunday. Last time I got ice cream, though I skipped the fixings and the cone, and just had two scoops, asking for smaller scoops. That way at least I’m getting less calories. But I need to get to the “I don’t eat sweets” part of healthy.