Been talking to customer service people all day.  I also went to meditation class at the Buddhist center.   We had someone read various passages in various books about anger and then we meditated on it.

microsoftI still have a lot of work to do when it comes to anger.  I had to call about my satellite service.  It didn’t go too badly and it was before the meditation.  The next guy I spoke with was about my Word program disappearing.  He was with Microsoft (reminder: write a letter to MS about their customer service) very helpful until he began to think I was trying to get something for free.  I gave him the number off my computer, but it wasn’t a match.  He began to get very smarmy, calling me “ma’am” in this condescending tone.  Like tsk tsk tsk, I know what you’re trying to do, you shouldn’t do that.  It irritated the hell out of me and my voice ended up getting raised, and I told him to watch his tone.  I felt like his mother, which made me more angry so I asked for a supervisor.  I ended up hanging up, thinking I would go to Best Buy and see if they could help me out.  It took me 6 transfers to get to the right person to help me, and luckily she had a good attitude and I calmed down.  Plus she actually did something to help me.

The end result is I’m getting a small, temporary discount on my satellite service, and have to buy Word.  Apparently, Word came free with my computer for a limited trial.  That’s what threw me off, I thought I remembered it being some sort of trial.  But since it didn’t happen at the 1 year or 18 months.  Turns out I no longer own word and will have to buy it.  At least it’s fairly cheap.

Now my only problem is my bank account is overdrawn.  Twice in one day.  I put money in yesterday with fingers crossed but we went black in the night.  I deposited another $500 today, only to come home to find I was again in the negative!  Husband went completely nuts when he saw our negative balance.  We will continue to incur $35 fees for each bounced transaction until Friday when we should receive a deposit from husband’s 401K,  It’s only a couple thousand dollars and so and bring out account into the positive.  Did I mention I hate Bank of America?bofa

I spoke with Husband about filing for bankruptcy, and he is finally getting the picture about the finances.  He said he had no idea it was this bad.  Acted a little like I was keeping things from him.  And I was, but only because he was carrying his own load and I didn’t want to add to his worries.  I’ve looked into BK in California and it looks like we can take care of everything in about 8 months.  In about 8 months Husband will retire at 63 and leave the job he has come to hate.  In 8 months we want to have enough money to move: somewhere.  Maybe Seattle/Tacoma, I hope so.
We will need to rent a truck and possibly a storage unit, and you can’t rent anything without a credit card, and if we filed right away the timing would be very bad.  I’m thinking we get everything we need done and paid for on credit for as long as we can, and try to save money.  Pretty hard to do if you’re paying all my bills on $12 job.

I lost my temper too easily.  I’m not thrilled with the tone of this Buddhist center.  I’m more Tibetan than this center is.  They seem to be organized much like a church, and that is too structured for me.  I will keep going to the meditation and hopefully make progress there, but not subscribe to their particular strict structure.

Son is having a terrible day.  So of course, I have to suffer through it with him.  And of course, I do and will do anything for him, but he wears down the Buddhist in me and I want to just yell at him to get off his ass and change things if he doesn’t like where he’s at.  All he can see are roadblocks.  He can’t see the positive lately.  It is completely obvious that he will never go out on his own without our help there too.

All in all it’s been a pretty shitty day, and despite the deepening headache, I’m in a fairly good mood.

6 thoughts on “ABOUT ANGER

  1. Sorry you’re still having stress… but it seems maybe now your husband is a bit more aware of what’s going on…Maybe your son can realize how things are too ?? He has to prepare for him and his son I would think………Anyway… hope things work out ..take care Diane

      1. There needs to be a better one for you…. You need maybe to go and spend a day at the beach with the sound of the ocean and some sun to soothe you…. Take some time away from the house!… Diane xo

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