happiness rests strange on her
I have been feeling happy now for about a month, with a few momentary lapses and it truly is a strange feeling. I don’t trust it and keep waiting for it to end unpleasantly. I am fearful that feeling as good as I do, I don’t warrant disability.
I spoke with my therapist about it today and she was reassuring and told me that she fully supports me in not working. She said if I went back to work I would be a mess again in no time. (Well, she didn’t put it exactly like that.) That reassured me somewhat. That’s my big fear right now, to have gotten disability for MS and depression, when neither bothers me much any more. It’s true, though. I have been in therapy 3 times in 10 years over depression. Have been seeing a psychiatrist for 10 years. I think that she’s absolutely right, going back to a high pressure job would just send me into a tailspin.
So for now I will be happy, and enjoy it. Perhaps soon I will relish it.