Problems Thinking

Maybe I’m just overwhelmed by our upcoming move, but I have almost no concentration.  I am managing to read a few blogs, but not as many as usual.  I’m discombobulated.  I’m not catching up with my fellow bloggers well.  And when I do read a blog, I have found that I have nothing to say.  No comment.  Even on some of the most controversial blogs I read, like Myatheistlife, Shaunynews, and The Pink Agendist.  Maybe I don’t feel the need to put in my two cents worth any more.   I still care about things, but it seems I no longer have an opinionated comment.  Maybe that’s not a bad thing.

ImageI think it’s part of my inability to read a book.  I don’t think I’ve finished reading a book in more than a year.  It’s part of why I am having so much trouble writing.  If you don’t read, writing is very hard, I’ve found.  Back when I could read two books at a time, and finish a 7-book series in 4 weeks, I was writing like a demon.  Publishing short stories, searching for new markets, researching novels which sit unfinished in a box in the closet.  What happened?

And I haven’t smoked in months, so you’d think my mind would be pretty clear.  It seems like I just have more and more blank space in my head.  Maybe I shouldn’t fight it.  Just sit back and make my jewelry (which is a pretty empty-headed task) til I run out of material.  Trust that my concentration may return, and be content if it does not.

10 thoughts on “Problems Thinking

  1. Let me ease your worries. The other day, for most of the day, I had trouble speaking. All my sentences came out in fragments. “I just ummm” and “You know that thing, I mean that thing”- if computers sometimes need to be re-booted, why wouldn’t our minds be the same?
    We’re saturated with thoughts, ideas, sounds, images, putting all that together, forming opinions of it. Stress multiplies those processes enormously. Be gentle with yourself.
    It’s like when you can’t sleep, the more you torture yourself about not sleeping, the more you can be sure you won’t sleep. The expectation heightens the distress. If you can’t sleep and decide you’ll get up, turn on the lights, read, make something to eat- if there’s no sleep then there shall be something better! You change the tone, change the mood, remove the anxiety. Let life flow, as it comes to you. Today no reading or writing, maybe listening to music instead, maybe a long bath- just let it flow 😉

    1. Thank you for your kind words. You are right. Just accept how things are, and live in the moment. If I’m meant to finish my novel, I trust that I will (eventually). Stop worrying so much about my memory issues–it only ruins today.

      (and I love your blog posts lately, and reinforced my awe in how ignorant some people are. Will all this debate serve any purpose?)

  2. Me too… I’m having trouble the same way.. I’ve been blaming it on not sleeping well plus the MS cognitive issues exacerbated because of it… I guess we just do what we can do…. hang in there.. Diane

  3. Even if you can’t leave a comment doesn’t mean you don’t care…but I surely giggled at your photo – Recombobulation Area. You are definitely still with us. Just a tad discombobulated!

  4. I agree with the other commenters (see? I obviously have nothing unique to add these days either!) Seriously, give yourself a break. I’ve been the same way, and I think mine is stress. When I get like this I have to preserve what cognitive function I do have for my real life. Be gentle with yourself and know that your blogging friends will welcome your comments when you feel more like interacting. One of my favorite yoga teachers always reminds us to “meet yourself wherever you are.” I try to remember this in yoga and in life.

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