My son is currently experiencing one of his worst depression episodes I’ve ever seen. The worst part is, I can’t help him. It appears he is headed to completely alienate the family by taking out his anger and frustration on us. I understand he can’t control how he is feeling right now. I understand the pain he is in. I can’t understand why he refuses all offers of help, except he sees it as pointless. “No one will help me,” he says. He goes to Urgent Care or the ER every few months, only to complain about his physical pain, and of course, no one is going to give him a 30 day supply of percocet or oxycodone, so he says no one helps him. That no one cares. Except we do care! How do I make him understand how badly he needs help. Professional help that we will pay for. He doesn’t want that. Doesn’t feel it will make a difference. He just can’t see past his depression.
Very unfortunately his depression is often manifested by anger directed at others. Angry words, accusations and complaints, that’s all we hear. It makes it especially hard to want to help him when he’s yelling at you. He just won’t hear us. Any time we tell him he should get professional help, we get the argument that no one cares, no doctor will help him because they all think he’s just some drug addict. Yes, he is a drug addict, but like most of them, he is altering his mood with drugs and alcohol. I get that. I wouldn’t even care at this point, but he can’t maintain a steady dosage. He keeps adding to his ‘dosage’ to kill all his pain, only adding to his problems.
He can’t see that we love him and want to help him. He is angry we moved (again). He says he hates it here. How does he know he hates it when he won’t go out and experience the city? It’s not this place he hates, but his life. He says that a lot, that he hates his life. Apparently he thinks he was happy in Westlake Village. Of course, we know he hasn’t been himself since his grandpa died 1 1/2 years ago. It’s a long time to be dealing with his many ups and downs.
For him, he also has the added disadvantage of being uninsured. Obama Care denied him and referred him to Medicare, which in turn denied him and sent him back to Obamacare. A true sign (to him) that the world has conspired against him. We did try to rectify things and get him covered, but he refused to do any of the work himself and at the time, I was disinclined to do it for him. After all, he’s a grown man and needs to take care of himself. Except he can’t. I totally realize that now. I will look into getting him insured today.
The helplessness and frustration is taking a toll on the family. We have to do something. We can’t continue to live like this! Cross your fingers I can finally get him insured and once insured, he will seek medical help.