MS Reality Check


Last week the neurologist didn’t give me anything for this flare, since I was already improving when I saw her.  I’m about 80% normal right now.  I’m not taking 4 hour naps, and I’ve even been able to walk around a short block, and make a quick trip to the store.  It’s nice to be feeling better.

weedI didn’t find out much on paying for a new prescription.  I spoke with one of the helplines and my doc has to submit something to them, then they will see if I am eligible for any program.  If I don’t then I’ll investigate one of the other drug programs.

I’m trying hard not to be upset with myself for stopping my treatments.  I guess I had to prove it to myself that the drugs were really doing something, and that I really had MS and it could be just as bad as when I was first diagnosed.  It’s strange, but I felt like I really wasn’t sick at all, and felt sort of guilty somehow that others were so bad off when I felt fine.  Isn’t that ridiculous?  I felt guilty about not feeling bad.  What’s that mean?

So today they called to schedule my MRI.  That’s next Tuesday.  Actually, they will do three of them.  I’ll get there at 8:00 AM and won’t leave til about noon.  They said they didn’t usually do all three on one day because it’s so long, but since that’s how I’ve always done it, they agreed to do it in just one day.  I’d much prefer to get it all done in one visit.

Then on Wednesday I see the neuro again, and on Friday I see my new psychiatrist.  Finally, I’m getting a handle on my medical conditions since the move.  It only took me 9 months.  Kicking and dragging my feet at each turn.  I haven’t been seeing a therapist, but I decided I will also find a new one and see them for a few months at least.  Get myself back on track.  Then, maybe after I’m on the new drug I’ll be feeling good enough to go back to karate.

5 thoughts on “MS Reality Check

  1. Though of course you didn’t want to be sick, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise because you are getting some things accomplished regarding your M.S. Hope you start to feel better soon… Diane

  2. Oh my gosh. You crack me up. You are so stubborn and feisty. It is exactly what I do when my body doesn’t do what I expect. That meme is perfect: be a weed. I am going to use that as my mantra, ha ha! What a relief that your symptoms are milder compared to others, and that you can get a reminder to take your meds, and all of it is irritating and inconvenient but you didn’t die for being so stubborn. Bodies are wonderful. And aggravating. I totally GET feeling guilty for not being sicker. You instantly reminded me of “survivor guilt” of vets, and maybe your reaction is related to being a veteran. Who knows? Hugs to you. ❤

    1. No I don’t have “survivor guilt” due to my military service. I’m pretty sure my guilt comes from being raised a strict Catholic. lol

      I love that meme as well. It just makes sense to me.

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