Mom


Mom had a mild heart attack last night.  I don’t know exactly how you have a heart attack when you have an implanted defibrillator, but she did.  At least they didn’t take her to the hospital, so I guess it was pretty mild.  She’s going to see her cardiologist Monday.  We drove up to see her.  She always looks frail, frightened and tired when we arrive, but she perked up when I offered her Krispy Kreme donuts.  I know, you should not give someone so unhealthy such an unhealthy food, but really, at this point how much harm can it do?  And she devoured one whole glazed donut!

At least we got her to eat.  She only weighs about 85 lbs now and probably 5″ or 6″ shorter than I.  When I first met her 35 years ago, I could look her in the eye.  How can someone lose so much height??

She is an enigma.  She tells no one what she is thinking.  Questions are answered with a minimum of words.  And now that her memory is getting bad, I’m afraid her story will never be known.  Just as I knew nothing about her husband, or my own mother and dad, for that matter.  Isn’t this the stuff that should be handed down to the next generation?  The stories of lives, not just dates and names, and addresses.  I guess that’s the genealogist in me.  I know more about her family than she does, but I don’t know the people.  Her parents left Missouri during the Depression (Mom was born in ’29) and they drove the whole family to California where they were migrant farm workers until the end of the Depression.  What stories must’ve been lost!  Of course, Mom was very young and doesn’t remember much, and apparently her parents didn’t talk about it.  She’s the last of her family.  She’s outlived a daughter, two husbands, a dog, and all her siblings.  It’s hard not to be sad about it.

16 thoughts on “Mom

    1. It’s funny, but she recovers from these attacks so quickly. She’ll feel miserable and sound terrible on the phone, but as soon as she sees us the light turns on in her eyes.

  1. I guess it’s the bones that cause so much difference in her height… I’ve been losing a bit of height for awhile…
    It is too bad that there isn’t more history known. That’s what I feel too, being the last of 10, I learned most from my oldest sister… but still not nearly enough. Hope things go well for your Mom with her doctor…. Diane

    1. I try to comfort myself in doing the family genealogy, hoping to gain some insight. I also knew nothing of my parents’ background until I started into genealogy. Now I know more about the family than anyone.

    1. I feel guilty that we don’t visit more often, but we’d really just be sitting in a tiny room watching NCIS. Not saying much of anything. STill, maybe that is what I should do.

  2. the implant doesn’t stop the heart attack, just revives the heart. i am a bit surprised she has chosen to have one.

    it is sad to think of losing our history. in my culture it is so important to tell the stories and pass along our history both as individuals and as a culture. she is so fortunate to have family that cares so much and wants to know her story as well as keep her comfortable.

    thinking about you and yours!

    1. Thank you for the info on the implant. She got that 6-7 years ago. We have talked to her about removing it, but she said she could never do that. I think she is terrified of dying, not that I blame her. But she won’t talk about how she feels.

      Thanks also for your kind words. You give so much affection to others in the midst of your own pain, and that says a lot about what kind of person you are, and I wish we could’ve met live years ago.

      (Sorry this was so long)

      1. the batteries typically die within that time period. mine died in 5 yrs. so hers may quit soon. i know i will not go through anymore of these procedures. we could have true forever friends and in a way we are friends here. i know it isn’t the same but remember i have your back and you can contact me anytime. my email address is – sblakecallahan@aol.com and i am on Facebook. most of all remember you are never alone and i will do whatever i can to help.

  3. I know exactly what you mean about feeling the loss of a family history not handed down. My mother refused to tell me some things because she felt that it was the result of decisions she wished she had not made. I understand wanting to present the best image of oneself, but for people like you and me: we won’t judge, we just want to know their story! You love her for all of it.

    I think you did the right thing with the Krispy Kreme! Bringing a smile is the best medicine.

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