I Don’t Want to Go

Tomorrow morning we are planning to go visit Mom at the assisted living home.  Husband’s niece and her daughter will also be there.  I don’t know any other way to say it, but I don’t like Niece.  I’m probably being ridiculous and silly, but 15 years ago she did and said some things that really bothered me.  Insulting and angering things.  It’s not like I can’t forgive and move on; I hold no grudge.  But these things told me something of her character, which I found unappealing.  religionSo, in s nutshell, I don’t want to visit Mom, because I don’t want to spend time with Niece.  We don’t see her often, but the last time we did, I didn’t exactly have the best time.

Am I being silly?  Am I holding a grudge, but calling it a character flaw?  I’ve tried a Buddhist approach, and tried to let it go.  You know, who am I to say the way she behaved was wrong of her.  She obviously did and said things she felt were necessary or true at the time.  Maybe I’m just looking for an excuse for just not liking her.

I’m thinking of invoking a migraine in order to get out of going tomorrow.  I’ve had a migraine all day, so it is possible I will still have it in the morning, but if I don’t I may still say I do.  How childish am I?

12 thoughts on “I Don’t Want to Go

  1. While I understand, maybe it would be better to face it head on… there may be another time when you HAVE to see her… so break the ice now…. You don’t have to spend all the time talking with her or maybe it would work out that way… ?? Just a thought….Your husband will probably like you to go too?? Diane

  2. Never miss an opportunity to visit your mom,we are not promised the next time or day or even second…do not let what someone said be the reason you aren’t there for your mom. We are only given our children and our parents for a time please don’t waste a moment of showing her how much you care for her. Let the neice do or say what ever ,be there for your mom!

  3. Perhaps a little too hard on yourself? I think it shows what good character you have by spending so much time thinking about it and trying to let it go, or somehow deal with your thoughts and feelings. You care about everyone, even this person who upset you, or you wouldn’t be struggling with what happened. I don’t think it’s selfish. Be open to an opportunity to deal with the problem, and like the other commenter said, focus on your mom. ((hugs))

    1. Mom had a great day, and after suffering three lesser heart attacks in the past 6 weeks, and getting another stent put in last week. She did have a marvelous time, and is still flying high tonight. It does make me feel good.

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