The past two years have been quite eventful between Husband’s retiring and our move, but they have been mostly happy. In fact the reason I don’t think I’ve posted near as often as I used to, is that I don’t have any complaints, or issues to work out via the blog, until today. Well it’s been building the past several weeks.
It’s the same things, of course, Son has serious issues. Lately I have begun to despair that he is broken beyond repair. I doubt he can ever maintain his own home and I’m in tears right now thinking about it. The plan when we moved is that Son would’ve been on his own by now, and we have made progress in that direction, since Son now is operating an online herbal sales business. Still it will be difficult to secure an apartment since he is self-employed, so he has to stay with us until he has a steady income for a good year, unless we co-sign a lease for him.
It’s so hard not to blame yourself when your child doesn’t turn out the way you hoped. I absolutely hate to hear about my nieces and nephews who have gone to or attending college, getting married, moving away from home. While here I am still worrying about what’s bothering my Son. Wondering how best to help him. I try to support him, but it’s not easy. Knowing I made serious mistakes along the way. The feeling that I did this to my Son cannot be shaken. I find myself becoming very depressed again.