Really, there aren’t any. Aging is a difficult process, especially after about 50 years. Your life begins to revolve around health issues, doctor visits, tests, and too many prescriptions! It can get very disheartening.
- two MS flares and a general increase in symptoms and subsequent increase in medications
- kidney stones of epic proportions (not really, but they were big enough) which included numerous doctor visits and several visits to the ER
- knee issues, as yet unresolved. (The docs say the arthritis “isn’t that severe” yet the pain is. The cortisone shots and the Synvisc treatments have been a bust)
- ER visits with Son for anxiety, and back pain
- Social Security benefits issues
- Medicare questions
- Medi-Cal problems
- mounting medical bills
- fear of having to move from our beautiful little upstairs apartment, because Husband’s knees are so bad
And that’s just the three of us. We have also been dealing with Mom’s care. We have found she is now without funds sufficient to continue to live in the home where she has been for two years. We just discovered she has not been receiving her husband’s naval pension benefits. I had started all the paperwork for her to receive that after her husband died, but she started to hoard the paperwork and would no longer let me help. Now I have to start over, and try to push the issue to get her some financial help quickly. She can no longer pay her rent. Preliminary info on military pensions say that they are not generally passed down to widows, unless the vet paid into the pension to do so, but we haven’t found if that may be the case. I only know Mom never finished the process, choosing instead to ignore it. Now, of course, it’s MY problems again. Yippee!!
Lately I have been hating my life and having trouble staying positive. I’m now in pain every day, though mostly mild. I now take 7 different prescriptions. My emotions are raw and I cry at the least provocation: sad movie, sad book, imagined slights. Hormones? Who the hell knows? It could be PBA caused by the MS. It doesn’t really matter the cause. It’s just a new thing to cope with, or possibly to add a new prescription to my growing pharmacopoeia. Something I sincerely do not want to do.
My last visit to the neurologist we discussed the constant esophageal spasms, and she said it is likely NOT the MS, but GERD! Really? I always understood GERD hit you at night, and was very painful. The spasms are not painful, but constant and uncomfortable. Imagine a fist through your chest squeezing your esophagus. Now I need to see a gastroenterologist to determine the cause and find a remedy in the form of a pill. Ugh!
I know my problems are minor to so many of you dealing with serious illnesses and looming death. I’m just so disheartened today, having difficulties seeing any light at the end of these tunnels. I’m just venting here. No comments are really required. I know we all have our bad days, and today is one of mine.