Well, That Didn’t Go Well (update)

Came home from dinner Monday night to find son sitting on the couch snoring.  Just like he does when he drinks.  We said nothing and went to bed.  He woke me at 2AM with the worst migraine.  Took him to the ER.  Sat with him for 4 hours while they gave him benadryl, compazine, and toridol.

He was in a rage on Tuesday.  I slept most of the day, not having had much sleep the night before.  He was still angry today.  Stupidly, I decided this would be the day I would give him a letter explaining how his addiction effects us and how much we want to trust him.  How much we want to help him.  Just how much we want our “old T” back.

My letter did not go over well.  We spent 1 1/2 hours yelling at each other.  Mostly Son doing the yelling.  That stupid letter I never should’ve given him.  He’s left just now, says he’s going to check into the hospital “to give us a break.”  We don’t need a break.  Things have been good for 4-5 weeks now.  I just wanted to know what happened Monday.

I’m so sorry I wrote that note and gave it to him.  Shouldn’t have done it.  It made things worse than just letting him be.

Going to go have me a good cry.  Then probably a nap.  Not up to yoga or tai chi today.  I think I’d rather wallow in a little self pity.


It’s 4PM and he’s been raging all damn day.  He’s talking about going to the hospital, but we are encouraging him not to go.  I know as soon as he checks in, he will want to leave again.  Plus it’s Christmas this weekend, we don’t want it ruined by him being in hospital, but then again, if he’s going to be in a manic rage all week, maybe it’s best.

I feel this is all my fault.  I know how he reacts.  But I was angry with him, and disappointed, and felt I needed to do something.  Unfortunately, for Son, it was the wrong thing.

8 thoughts on “Well, That Didn’t Go Well (update)

  1. It’s his addiction that was yelling at you…not him…but you know that. Anger causes words to be spoken that normally would never be. You had a right to be concerned when you knew in your heart he had been drinking or ?? Choosing to not be confrontational I think was good. He chose to use that as a reason to vent out his anger and frustration.
    Don’t take on any false guilt. I know as a mother you ache for your son…and just want him to be well but you can’t take this on!
    He will likely settle down when he thinks about things. I hope so Linda…. take care Diane

  2. It is so difficult to know, what will always be the right to do and say, when you have with people to do, who has addictions. As Diane mention, it was his addiction talking, not him. You do also need to be honest, also for yourself and your self confidence, this was just not the right time, but knows that always? We are humans, so forgive yourself and be kind to yourself, just as you are to your son. He knows, that you love him and wish him all the best, which is the most important at all. Merry Christmas.

    1. I hope he knows his dad and I love him more than the world, and we’d do anything for him. It is hard though, when he remembers things that didn’t happen, or loses his words, we assume he’s been drinking. I’m learning that may not be the case.

  3. Do not blame yourself!! Are you kidding me?! Did you cause the addiction? Did you cause the years of behavior that finally taught you to stop trusting him in self-defense? Are you the one who constantly has to be taken to ER, disrupting the whole family? Good grief, if it weren’t for his illness, you wouldn’t be driven to the point of madness. You need to instead congratulate yourself for staying sane and working so hard to help. You are a saint..

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