Been working on finding somewhere to house my son.  We can no longer live with him and his addictions.  I feel like a traitor making phone calls to find him somewhere else to live.  What kind of monster have I become?  Our hearts are breaking today and I am unable to stop crying.  Today he is telling me he hasn’t been drinking, or it hasn’t been much.  Totally different story from just a few days ago where he admitted to drinking/using.  He clings to his mental illness like a shield against anything he can’t deal with.  And right now he can’t deal with anything.

I found most shelters are full, most cannot adequately support someone with problems like mental illness and addiction.  I think I called 20 places, but didn’t really find out anything I didn’t know before.  I did find a few places that sounded like they might be able to help, but I can’t really get any info.  Son would have to call and/or apply in person.  Something I don’t think he’s willing to do.  Not to mention I’d have to give him my phone. Do I give him my phone?  Or would he just call and beg to come home?

I called to see about getting him on Section 8 housing.  Nope.  The program is not taking new applicants.  According to their website, it hasn’t since 2012!  So financial assistance for housing is out.  Permanently, apparently.  I was quoted with the cost for detox: $5000. I can’t get him in sober housing until he’s clean.  I can’t get him to detox

Why is there no public rehab? Why don’t we help the helpless? Just as with all societies we are biased against the mentally ill and addicts.  Just like LGBTQ are finally being accepted, but we had to work for that.  We had to change the rules when we become aware enough to know that such behavior is inhumane.  It took 200 years for the whites in this country to realize the value of making men equal.  It took thousands before we grew as a nation to recognize how wrong the Straight world was wrong.  We can change. We can give people dignity despite their circumstances.  We can treat all people, well, like people.

What is wrong with this country?   I know what’s wrong with it now: we’re lead by an imbecile, but he’s only making things worse.  Not defending him, but he has not been involved in any of these governmental programs. Until now.

I just saw Elizabeth Warren talking about the Trump budget.  She only mentioned one item: cutting $11 Billion from education.  Art programs-gone.  Music-gone.  They’ve even taken away funding for Phys Ed.  No teacher training, no new teachers, no more books no more computers.  So we will continue to have a completely ignorant population.  I pay taxes to ensure proper education!  It’s tax fraud for them not to use that money appropriately!

Can you imagine what cuts will be made to public programs like Welfare, Social Security, etc.  All programs my tax money pays for!  Or is supposed to.

Impeach the fucker all ready.  We will deal with Pence later.




8 thoughts on “OMG

  1. I can hear the desperation in your voice. I think you need to take care of you. I know you likely don’t have much extra cash.. but is there somewhere or some body you could go to see for a few days. While I know your husband cares as much as you… I don’t think that it’s tearing him apart like you.. It would be the same with me and my husband.. I think mothers just take on too much. So! Is there anywhere to go for a few days… and just disengage. I really feel you need to force yourself to do this. At some point ‘son’ has to take responsibility for his life… I know he’s likely not mentally/physically going to be able to do it easily. But if he doesn’t, it’s not up to you. It just isn’t!
    Take a break… and que sera sera! Please Linda, do this… Diane

    1. Diane, you are such a great and compassionate friend. You are right, we do need to go away. We’ve been afraid to leave son alone, but it’s getting to where it doesn’t matter if we are here or not.

      Thanks for always being there for me. Wish I could give you a huge hug!

      1. Wish I could give you one too.. there’s something about ‘hugs’ that just really makes everyone feel good. (I repeat though… try even a few days ?) Diane

  2. Ughhhh!!! That is so hard. My heart breaks for you. I want help for your son and YOU. You need some relief. And I am with you on all things political. Impeach him already. He’s a menace!!! Sending so much love as you navigate the situation with your son. I wish I had answers…

    1. That’s the hard thing: finding answers. I appreciate your support. I know you understand life’s many difficulties. Hope all is well and improving in your world. 🙂

  3. I just had my own experience with Social Security. One can apply online so it’s easier to lie than if one is sitting directly in front of a Social Security agent like my wise old grandmother did back in 1975.

    Interestingly, if I make too much money, I can’t even get Social Security “benefits.” Huh? I paid into it for 50 years so I could use it to retire on and now you decide that since I still work and make money at the age of 65 that you’re not going to give me those benefits? And to get those benefits, one actually has to be really poor. Makes no sense. So since Jim and I are married, I put all the money over in his name and made my income so low that I’m considered poor. Makes no sense to me.

    1. My last boss was a multi-millionaire and he got his SS, but he was over 70. But at some point they just have to give it to you. At least that was what I was lead to believe. Go figure.

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