Recovery – Day Five


He’s not coming out of it like usual. I swear he’s becoming delusional. And I know delusional and how difficult it is to get along with them. To avoid conflict you have to buy into their delusion. It’s especially hard to do when the delusions change from day to day.

Every day he tells me something that’s just plain wrong:

“We watched that show together.” Except we did not watch that show together.

“Where’s the leftover chicken from last night?” We hadn’t had chicken in several days. Is this a problem with keeping track of the days? It doesn’t seem so, because he insists we had roast chicken the night before and doesn’t understand why I would deny it. You would think logic would come into play, but no.

“Can you print something for me?” I do. Then I give him the papers and he says, “I didn’t ask you to print that.” This in a span of 15 minutes.

He is so convinced that what he remembers is real and what we remember is just wrong. I ask him, “Why would I lie about that?” Not to mention, he knows I have never lied to him.

Every day he has a new problem with his computer or tv. One day it won’t turn on at all. The next day he has no volume control, etc. He’ll get each issue fixed and a few hours later it’s another problem. I’m not sure there is ever anything wrong. It’s impossible to know. He won’t leave it alone long enough for you to really help. Near as I can figure, he hallucinates that there is a problem and starts to unplug and turn things off. But I have to go in his room and look at all the wires and figure out what he’d disconnected.

I’m supposed to go with him to the doctor today. He’s talked about it all week. Now this morning he doesn’t want me there and doesn’t want to give me permission to talk to the therapist at all. I told him if he wanted his dad and me to be able to help him, he’d give his permission. Now he’s in his room, ruminating on why we are so mean and demanding.

It is 11:40AM and I’m arguing with Son about it. He’s telling me we should get going if we’re going to make it on time. I thought the appointment was at 1. He says yes, but it’s 12:40 and I have to repeat it is not. Now he’s upset again and hiding in his room. I’m looking forward to the ride to the doc. God know if I’ll even get to say anything once I’m there. Probably a total waste of time, but I’ve got to try. They need to at least understand that the situation at home is barely tenable. We need help to understand, and they are not getting a complete picture of the situation.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

 

9 thoughts on “Recovery – Day Five

  1. I so hope you can make them understand. You can’t keep going on the way things are. Delusion must be so difficult to deal with, but if you have to buy into it to keep your son from getting upset, it’s just going to go on and on. Who on this earth.. specifically in the USA can advocate for you.. and help you with your immense struggle? Someone ????? Anyone????? Diane

    1. There are groups trying to change the insurance benefits to better care for those with mental illness or addiction. They work at the federal government level. There are local groups as well, but mostly just a bitch session for others experiencing the same thing. I keep looking and I’m sure to find something.

      By the way, how are you? Well I hope.

      1. I hope you find ‘someone’… I’m okay, though still in the midst of trying to get some answers… I see a gastro doc next week . .. How’s the M.S. with you? I know you’re really struggling with issues with your son, and MS doesn’t really handle stress too well… Diane

      2. I wish you all the best with this doc. My MS is actually pretty good. I have more flares now that I don’t take the DMDs, but not bad. And once I catch some extra sleep, I’m good as new.

  2. I am sorry I have no words to help you or your family. I can only read and be amazed at your ability to cope and keep going. I am new to your blog so have to go back some to truly understand what you are going through. You have my best wishes and your son has my deepest hopes. Hugs

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