I’m Getting Angry, Then Sad

I am angry, sad, confused, and just plain put out.  Common sense has disappeared from Congress.  Our protests gain a lot of press time and piss off Dump and Pres. Bannon, and yet, they seem to be ineffectual.  How do you keep up the heat?  I have only been actively involved a short time, and yet I already feel utterly defeated.

Here is a link to an article about how senators have voted on each Dump cabinet pick.  This list did not make me happy.


Sure, we should hang in there, wait until 2018 with the mid-term votes.  But both my reps seem to vote (mostly) how I want.  But I can’t vote for other states’ reps.  I can’t make the people in Ohio, Virginia, Wisconsin, etc. see it my way.

We can keep up the heat on declaring Dump incompetent due to mental illness, but we’re still stuck with all the other swamp creatures!  How do we clean up that mess?

Yes, I know, one step at a time.  But patience and persistence are not going to be enough.  I can’t sit here and hope the people in Blue States start calling their senators.

I feel like Dorothy, caught in a black & white tornado, and suddenly dumped (pun intended) in the middle of a bright orange swamp!



Random Rants

I’m convinced the Tecfidera I started taking for my MS six months ago was causing these sudden weird mood swings.  They are like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.  It happened so fast, Jeckel and Hyde-like, from talking pleasantly and something went off in my head.  I became angry with Husband.  He could see coming, a small (relatively) meltdown.  By the time we got home we were arguing–sort of. When we got home I went in and took a long shower and a long hard cry while Husband ignored me.  I went from pleasant day to suicidal in under an hour!  That cannot be normal, but I cannot find anywhere on the internet anyone mentioning almost anything about this kind of side effect.  I saw one question on a community board but no one had responded to it.  I know when I tell the doc that I stopped taking it and why she’ll come up with an excuse that it can’t be the med.  Or will she be reasonable and listen to me.  Rare or not, while I’m not really done testing my theory, but the last time I took a pill was Thursday, I’ve been feeling better every day since, I feel more normal and balanced.  Cheerful even.

I got frightened a previous time it happened and quickly went to my shrink.  He has seen me for about 6 months now.  I’ve always come in smiling and doing fine.  In fact last time we met we talked about lowering my dosage,  This time, I come in upset and crying and he just looks at me.  Nothing to say except to recommend counseling. Then he says, “I will refill your prescriptions.” and jotted something in my chart.  Clearly he is not the doctor I need.  I was so spoiled by my last doctor.  He was young and sweet and caring and actually talked to me.  He spent sometimes 30 minutes with me on a bad day.  This new guy, I’m in and out in less than 10 minutes.  He’s made his $500 an hour in ten minutes.  Imagine how many patients he can see in a day.  Cynical?  Yes.  But very true. Counting this one, I’ve seen four docs like this.   Perhaps it’s because II chose one of the least expensive health insurance options, I get the least “good” doctors?

happyBut it is what it is.  I know.  People hate the phrase.  I don’t.  I find it very much an Easter philosophy.  Like something Confucius might have sad.  I heard it first from my boss at the time.  IT was when my marriage was crumbling.  It really resonated, and I adopted it.  I don’t say it constantly, so.don’t hate me.

I posted the other day about diet and trying to change mine.  I’m addicted.  There.  I said it.  In some literature my Husband’s liver doctor gave us, studies have shown that sugar is more addictive than heroin.  I believe it.  I have been working on staying away from sugar.  But we had an apple pie last night.  Of course I had a piece (two actually, I didn’t eat much dinner).  And, of course, last night was halloween, so we have mini chocolate bars left.  I’m absolutely spineless when things like that are around.  I love to get the last piece, too.  What’s that about?

For those of you who read this far, I add the following photos.  A tiny mystery.  I have this plant growing in the yard.  It’s basically a weed, I guess.  I’ve been trying to identify it all day online.  I’ve seen a couple photos online, but not information about it.  My dogs love to eat it.  More than grass.  They haven’t gotten sick yet, so I know it’s not poisonous.  Plus I think animals are instinctive about that.and know which plants are safe to eat.  Husband says I’m wrong and shouldn’t let them eat the stuff.  So if anybody can tell me what this is and that it’s safe for animals, I’d appreciate it.


The seeds.


Growing bud. They open up more as the stem grows.

DSC03506When I told my shrink I regularly take 2 hour naps.  Pretty much daily.  He said a nap was 15 minutes.  Since I was a teen, if I took a nap, it was always more than an hour (barring sickness).  I’m trying to take fewer naps, can’t seem to take shorter ones.  If Husband wakes me after an hour or less, I am groggy and sometimes it’s so bad I have to go back to bed.

Hope you are all having a marvelous weekend!  I send you thoughts of happiness, peace and contentment.  And now I’m going to do yoga instead of napping.   We’ll see how that goes, I doubled my pain and anti-spasm pills this moring, the pain was too bad.  I’m hoping going back to yoga will help.

I had the last (small) piece of pie for breakfast.  I figure, at least there’s fruit in it.  I’ve only had three mini candy bars (so far).

The Ex Is Pregnant

She just told Son last night she was pregnant.  His Ex. She shouldn’t.  She had bad morning sickness for three months, and then spent the last six on bed rest because it was discovered she had something wrong with her uterus.

Here’s the worst-case scenario Son believes will unfold (and I have no reason to doubt this possibility):

Loses her $12/hr job – because she doesn’t work for someone who needs to provide benefits like sick leave.

Loses apartment – Possible, but they currently rent the back house of Ex’s boyfriend’s mom.

Apply for food stamps, WIC and other assistance programs – Which now require more paperwork, and provide less money for the recipient.

Can no longer afford to keep Grandson living with her – She will send GS to move back in with us.

Obviously, not a good scenario, but as I note, that would be the worst-case.  Hope springs eternal, and maybe somehow things will work out.  However, Son feels he is now burdened with ‘fixing’ any psychological damage to GS.  He feels pressure to make a success of his business.  He’s distracted by his grandma’s precarious health.  He’s in pain, both physical and psychological.  He’s feeling the pressure of wanting to be on his own, but unable to afford it.  He’s barely started paying us rent, and since he’s still growing his business, most of his money goes right back in for supplies.  It’s a lot of work too, running his little business.  He answers questions on Facebook all day, fills orders, looks for deals on his supplies, and constantly has to battle other vendors for his slice of the little pie.  Other people will steal sales right out from under him.  His site could be shut down at any time by FB if someone decides to play dirty.  It’d only be a couple days, but that could mean $100s of lost sales.  I hate to even suggest he find something else to do.

I understand his pressure.  I don’t understand why he has taken his Ex’s pregnancy as a sign that his world will come to an end.  He knows we’ve always supported him (in every way), and always will.  I know we helped create his monsters, but he won’t let us help destroy them.  We’ve allowed him to get this dependent.  Now it’s time to change things.  Since I have good psych coverage, he will come with me to counseling.  He can complain about everything, and someone with the proper training will help him change his life.  I just hope it doesn’t take years!

I’ve started looking at apartments in Spain again.

Technology and Photos

We’re scanning all our photos into the computer, putting them in folders labeled ‘Grandma’s Birthday’ or ‘Summer 77’.  And don’t forget to back those up on a flash drive.  And then what?  I have a dozen flash drives full of photos.  Why not keep the physical photos as back up?  Takes up too much space.  Maybe you have too many photos?  I know we do.  futureHusband being an amateur photographer and all, there are boxes of photos he wants me to scan.  (He can’t do it because it’s too confusing for him.  It’s a lousy excuse, but I wrote out the instructions, and still had to walk him through the steps.  I figured it was just easier if I did it myself.  But I drag my feet, because even after I’ve scanned, labeled, and shared boxes of photos…he won’t throw out the originals.  It will take more than a generation to delete paper from our lives, but it is coming.  Kids just email their homework to their teachers.  Everything will be done on iPads.  In time, even the musty smell of old book stores will dissipate.

The pace at which our technology is expanding is both awe inspiring and frightening.  I’m old enough to remember carbon paper and manual typewriters. It’s so long ago and I feel it was ‘better back then’, just like all old people do.  Today at Starbucks I saw little round disks with a hole in the middle, and a USB port.  They were wi-fi chargers.  You place them on the table and plug in your device and it charges.  I’m blown away by the technology.  But then I thought, aren’t radio waves sort of like wi-fi?  Does wi-fi use radio waves, or something else?  And then my brain begins to hurt and I stop thinking about it.

Glow-in-the-dark puppy created by Korean Scientists (2011)

Glow-in-the-dark puppy created by Korean Scientists (2011)

Things are changing in my world that I do not want changed.  Why do we need such technology?  You know, if ISIS or Russia, or China wanted to take over the US, all they’d have to do is sabotage our electricity.  No bombs required, and we’d be hostages.  Just because we have the capability to do something doesn’t mean we should.  We now know how to clone sheep and make puppies and fish glow in the dark.  Maybe in some obscure way this knowledge will help us learn something else.  But really; glow-in-the-dark puppies?

I must admit that use this technology too.  I have a Facebook page, my blog, my online store.  There’s even a MySpace page and some short stories floating around the World Wide Web. I love the fact that I have so much information at my fingertips.  The problem is it’s all the same information, often word for word, regardless of the subject from Aborigines to Zoology.  Google something.  Then check the first 3-5 sites.  See if the information varies much.  Granted, the information may be accurate.  But it may not be all the information.  I still trust books.  Especially encyclopedias, always an excellent unbiased source for information.  But they don’t update them anymore, and so much has been learned just in my lifetime they are quite obsolete.

hell-in-a-handbasketWhat are the dangers of people living online?  Kids glued to their phones and pads.  My grandson never puts his down.  It’s been months since I’ve seen his face.  Sociologically speaking we are doomed to live our lives in the dystopia of Demolition Man.  Everything will be purchased at Wal-mart and Amazon, from prescriptions to kinky sex toys.  There will be no grocery stores or kitchens in homes, everyone eats out.  I see it coming (as do a lot of old people), the end of the world, glad I won’t see it.  Thinking exactly like my Grandma did at the turn of the 20th century, and her father, and  his mother.  And so the world will go on as it always did.  The next generation dooming all of mankind ever since man learned he was different from the other animals.

Are we doomed?  Yes, of course we are.  Just like the Romans who killed themselves off with lead goblets, the Mayans who didn’t make it through years of drought, the First Nations of the Americas who couldn’t beat the modern weapons of the 15th Century White men.  Each great country or empire will come to an end.  And most didn’t disappear so much as they were absorbed by other cultures/countries.  It happened to the Great Soviet Union and Germany in my lifetime.  It can happen to the US.


If you are on the internet at all, you know the English language (and I’m sure others as well) is going through some rapid changes.  New words, unrecognizable abbreviations, and so many old rules seem to have been thrown out.

I’m no Grammar Nazi, but I do believe it is important.  If you are going to post something on Facebook, your webpage, or a Yahoo News story, grammar is required to properly convey your message.  I know there are people online who are not native English speakers, and so I can forgive them their inaccuracies. But others seem to be native English speakers and have no idea how to accurately convey their thoughts.   I’ve read so many comments where there is almost no capitalization.  Many people can only use commas, or worse, ellipses, between their thoughts.  They look like this:

BREAKING NEWS.i think Donald trump is the best leader to take over the american empire in 2017. Donald trump is a douche bag no doubt but hes openly a douche bag like rob ford and thats a good thing.trump is the only person on that dam ballot that isint a coward.he is the only candidate that is willing to put the cowers back into forgin powers.hes not churchill and never will be but i see elements of him that make him a man not to be pushed around.

Or this:

I think any and all religious leaders thatthat manipulate the weak minded should be thrown in the pit with lions even though after that we wouldn’t be able to have line meet because if the USDA inspected it well we all know what would happen then

People need to understand grammar is what allows our written words to be understood by others.  If you are going to bother making a post, it might as well be understandable, right?  But who am I to judge?  ‘Their’, ‘They’re’, ‘there’.  Maybe I’ll get which they mean out of context.  Still, it’s just Facebook, so what’s the big deal.

But the news stories?  Shouldn’t proper spelling and the proper use of punctuation be a requirement?  Words should be spelled correctly, and proper grammar is expected. It should be accurate, understandable, and generally make sense.  Unlike this article about a man that died playing with fireworks on the 4th of July.  It is the first article I pulled up off Yahoo News just yesterday.  If it was written on paper, I’d expect it to be in crayon and look like this:  kids writing

Who writes these articles, 3rd graders?